Ha, Ha, Ha... Ha, Ha, Ha...Today was a great day for Mittens! I have expertly framed the Chupacabra, and it has been banished from the United States of Goo! It was not easy and not fun, but it was worth it. My devious plan had no flaws, and plenty of claws if you catch my mean---ing.
So there she was... Sleeping so inoccently. Sleeping so soundly. Sleeping right into my trap. I have been attempting to sneak outside for months. Many times the Overlords would catch me and shut the great door to the outside so I would be trapped. However, with my ninja-like skills I managed to sneak out every so often. I also had Sandra my tailor make me a diguise so I would look like a long hair tuxedo cat. After several months of posing as another family's cat, the whole neighborhood fell in love with Simba. Little did they know it was I... MITTINS! Ha, Ha, Ha... Ha, Ha, Ha. As "Simba", I had unfettered access to riches of the "Bye Bye." What could I possibly want from the wild that I could not obtain in my own civilized world. That which drives the Overlords crazy. That one edict from the overlords that must never be broken. THOU SHALL NOT SOIL THE CARPET! Ha, Ha, Ha... Ha, Ha, Ha... I am Mittins, and I am anarchy!
So I placed the unmentionables from Bye Bye conspicuously on the carpet, knowing that Daddy, er um, I mean one of the Overlords would see it when he came home for lunch to talk to Mommy er um, I mean the other Overlord in her box. I waited and waited for my plan to come together. Then I heard the great door to New Jersey (Kitty Hell) open and the great chariot rumble in. Daddy entered our domain. At first, he was whistling as he poured himself some milk (which he did not share) and he headed for the upstairs. When all of a sudden he saw it. Ha, Ha, Ha... Ha, Ha, Ha... He saw dog poo on the floor. Daddy ROARED so the very foundation of Earth shook. Atlas himself trembled and the Chupacabra cowered before the force of the howl. She begged and begged for forgiveness. She tried to explain that she did not know how her nasty poop soiled the freshly cleaned carpet, but it was too late. She was already the latest victim of... MITTENS! Ha, Ha, Ha... Ha, Ha, Ha. And the Chupacabra was banished to the wild lands of Bye Bye.
Wait a minute! Wha... What! NOOOOOO!!!! The Chupacabra has returned. I must go. Stay out of the light my friend, and beware the dark for I am MITTENS! HA, HA, HA... HA, Ha, ha...
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